Lonely road
by CrimsonGear
Summary: Remus didn't fall for Tonks. Result? A lonely man with nothing to stand up for. Written for the HPFC forum.


For the 'if things were different' competition on the HPFC forum with the prompt:

Remus Lupin didn't fall in love with Nymphadora Tonks.

* * *

"_You alright, mate?" asked Sirius as he plopped down next to Remus at the kitchen table._

"_Hm?" Remus started as he looked up from his cup of coffee. "Yeah, just thinking."_

"_I wouldn't think too hard, you'll blow a brain cell," Sirius joked, earning a swat at his head from Remus. "Seriously though; what were you thinking about?"_

"_Oh the usual: my impending doom at the full moon, James, not believing you, the fact I'm almost forty and still have no girlfriend," Remus said airily, making it sound like all of the things were unimportant, although Sirius latched onto the last one._

"_I can do worse – almost forty, no girlfriend and I can't even go find a hooker because a man old enough to be my great grandfather grounded me. That and I look like a blind man's sculpture after Azkaban so most chicks run before anything else," Sirius added with an exaggerated sigh. Remus laughed._

"_Always the vain one, Sirius."_

"_Too right, without James I have to be twice as up my arse," Sirius said with a grin. "Shame only James got kids though."_

"_I wasn't going to anyway – as if I could handle nappy changes and night time feeds on top of transformations, the woman and child would go through hell because of me and that's assuming the child doesn't take after me," Remus explained tiredly, repeating the lie he'd convinced himself was truth._

"_For all you know lycanthropy could be a regressive gene and have no effect," Sirius argued._

"_Then my child would be a carrier which would be even worse in my eyes," Remus answered. "If it became dominant Merlin knows how many generations later it would all be my fault – creating a tainted family network that could poison innocents-"_

"_Remus, shut up before I slap you," Sirius snapped, anger flashing in his grey orbs._

* * *

As Remus lay there in the rubble of the Astronomy Tower, too tired to get up, he began to ponder if maybe he'd been wrong. Even if he'd just found a person he could spend his sleepless nights beside. A person he'd be willing to give his life for that wasn't a seventeen year old boy or benign old man.

Maybe then he'd find it in himself to stand up and face Greyback. It wasn't that he didn't want to get up – he did, the rubble was bloody uncomfortable – but there was just him and Greyback in the tower now. Said werewolf was perched on one of the fallen ceiling beams, watching Remus in a predatory fashion.

"Not going to fight anymore, Pup?" Greyback taunted.

Remus blinked slowly and sighed before shifting, a pained grimace coming across his face, blood flowing slowly from a wound on his hip. Slowly, Remus got to his feet, swaying dangerously as he struggled to find his balance.

"Why?" Remus asked croakily. Greyback cocked his head to the side in questioning.

"Eh? What do you mean 'why'? Are you really giving up? I thought that Potter brat was the only connection you had left to your friends."

"He is, but that isn't what I meant, Greyback," Remus explained, holding onto some debris to keep himself upright. "I wanted to know why you turn people – children in particular."

"I'd have thought that would be obvious round about now," Greyback answered. "I'm creating an army of werewolves – shunned by society they will grow to hate Wizards and everything the Wizarding World stands for. We will rise and take control! Just as the Dark Lord has promised us."

Remus chuckled quietly, he didn't really understand why as the chuckles escalated until he was outright laughing, hands clutched around himself for fear his sides would split from the force of his laughter, leaning on more debris to stay standing.

"Just what the hell is so funny?" Greyback spat angrily.

"You," Remus managed after his laughter died away. "A werewolf army? Oh please, if you believe that you're more deluded than I am."

"You were lonely after being turned yourself," Remus continued, his voice strengthened by the same accusatory tone he'd used against Peter in the Shrieking Shack. "You think that because of what you are you _should_ hate the Wizards for discriminating. Everything has exceptions Greyback – there are people in the world who understand we didn't ask to become what we are and support us. You should have gone looking for them Greyback, not have gone making more hatred!"

"Like you can talk! Spineless introvert hiding behind the school bullies," Greyback spat. "I bet you're still a virgin."

Remus smiled again despite himself. "I believe you'll find that detail irrelevant, even if I do regret taking a partner before now."

Becoming more infuriated by the second, Greyback launched himself towards the other man, sharpened nails aimed at Remus' heart. Slowly, Remus smiled and raised his wand to meet the werewolf's hand.

"Avada Kedavra."


End file.
